I can’t believe drawing a black line across my eyelids makes me feel 10x prettier.
Bring me nine of these in the morning…please.
I got out of the car, lifted my face to the sunlight. It felt like a good fairy’s kiss. Except good fairies don’t exist.
You should never smother. When you smother they run.
You have nothing to offer me.
The more I hang out with my car the more I’m happy that I decided to buy it.
I’m feeling like maybe I need to get away for a little while again. Not running away from some great stresser or anything, just need some time to try and put back together something I feel like might have been broken for a while. Like a part that had gone bad and I never bothered to change it..
It’s a terrible moment. Sometimes certain things, people, events- it feels like they’ll be there forever, that they will last forever. The feelings they fill you with are too strong, too much- to ever not be. How foolish we can be at moments of internal weakness to think that no matter what bad may happen, this, will last forever. It’s a terrible moment to be out and about, and all of a sudden it hits you out of nowhere, with no sign of even popping up. It’s a terrible moment when you realize that this is never going to last forever- there is too much bad, too much hurt, too much negativity for it to have ever been able to last forever. It’s a terrible moment to realize that something that always felt like it would last forever- because none of it ever felt like it was long enough, even the worse moments- was always temporary. It will always be temporary. There is no fixing that can repair what you thought would be forever. Even when it’s still in the process.
I still have not forgiven you. I am constantly reminded of all of it. You have done nothing to fix this. Nothing but excuses with words, fake apologies and fake promises. You should know by now that these things just build up, I let them tear me to pieces until I finally explode. But I’m so tired of reacting and getting no answers, no changes. What if instead of reacting, instead of exploding in anger and disgust, I just hold on to it, let it fester more, let it take hold like a parasite and drain any affection or care I had, and I just leave. Just leave again, with all of that poison. Well that’s how I found you in the first place, wasn’t it?
How far do I have to go to find it?
Fucked my knee up, ugh.
The party we had here went well.
Anonymous asked: Its weird that you still pop up un my dreams now and then. I can never understand why, but its usually very interesting.
Yea, random people find their way into my dreams sometimes too. Who are ya anyway?