I’m not exactly sure what this is in reference to though I appreciate the motivational speech. You seem to forget that no ones going to read through a shitty book just to get to an alright ending. Endings often don’t turn out well or as how we had hoped, I think the entire story matters.
Circle of Jacques-Louis David, The Poetess Sappho (Detail), 1819
I can’t write this because I don’t know what the outcome will be when I finish it.
Spring break came and went too quickly.
I use to like doing laundry. Now it takes up too much of my very spare free time, I no like so much.
I feel like as soon as I get a little free time to do something for myself or just for fun I’m so exhausted from always working my ass off, that I end up falling asleep and hating myself for it.
Why I had a dream about the two of us playing go fish and war is beyond me.
I am a complete idiot when it comes to him. & I don’t mean the type of love struck idiot who doesn’t know what to say or do when I’m around him. I mean the type of idiot where he could have a hand around my throat and a gun to my chest, telling me that he would never dream of hurting me, and I’d believe him. Hell, I already took off the bullet proof vest.
I let it go on, forever, because I think I deserve it all. & I wonder how long I think I’ll deserve it for. I find myself thinking, “I don’t deserve this.” but I can’t ever voice it in words, because I don’t know how long it’ll take and how much I’ll have to suffer before it’s okay for me to deserve something good again.
You’re far away and so I forget the things that I hated about you. Don’t come back, don’t remind me.
St. Patrick’s Day was fun, yea I haven’t blogged in a while.
I never feel like blogging anymore. Have I grown past venting out my feelings to this darling site? Or maybe I’ve become too conscious about who and how many of you read this.
My breaks went again the other day. I love my green goblin car but sometimes I think the love isn’t mutual.
I guess it doesn’t matter that I’m the reason this all happened. I guess none of it matters. Give her all the credit, fuck it. Change all the stories.